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Is it better to fight a bully,
or forgive a bully?

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I want it to be gender neutral.

"Is it better to fight a bully
or forgive a bully?"

Page One

When I asked Siri this question just a few nights ago, the response was "Interesting question". I found that answer very interesting... I have my answer, but what is your answer? What is your feeling?

If you google that very question, Is it better to fight a bully or forgive a bully (google). There are as expected a ton of answers.

Now first, you must realize that maybe many  people think of bulling was something that happens to children in school ages. But how many people stop to think about how that impact may have carried through to their adult life.

For me, that first 6 top results from google, seem to say fight.

For example, some of my top results from google included things like:

  • StopBulling.gov "it is not acceptable"
  • What is the color to stop bullying? Anti-Bullying Day
  • and there are few more questions asked... you can check them out if you want.

 Down a bit further in the list, I started to see:

  • Then I found "Where did the word bully come from?" (dictionary.com) "First recorded in 1530.40; from Middle Dutch boele .lover". I found that interesting! Hard to get a clear answer, maybe my Dutch is a bit weak, but I came up with "boel" (wordsense.eu). This may not be right, but in that page it had 2 answers 1) (male) lover (wordsense) and 2) someone who commits adultery. Pretty different answers, to say the LEAST!
  • Then I found "Should I forgive someone who used to bully me?" (quora.com) "No, Never".
  • and "Not Forgiving Gave the Bully More Power" (TheHopeLine.com) "Forgiving those who bully you does not guarantee that you will no longer be hurt by them but holding a grudge will absolutely do you no good"

So I invite you to ponder the question for yourself, maybe look at Google. I plan to I write more later.

You may also want to research

Remember, first of all, the actions of a bully are not OK. But also realize that people learn this through processes such as mirror neurons.

The following traits come from  Personality Traits of an Adult Bully (medium.com). "Sad to say, we probably all have some traits of a bully. Identifying and eliminating them early, in ourselves and our children, can be a life lesson worth learning".

"Elevated sense of self" This trait is something that is very telling, yet many people may not notice it unless you understand it. People with an elevated sense of self put other people down. They may make fun of other people, may make negative comments, they may not praise you if you do something nice for them. Sometimes bossy spouses can be putting people down, thinking they are better, and not treat them as equals. Simply put, it's the tendency to think very highly of yourself and to have little or no regard for others. Realize that according to the Declaration of Independence, "All Men are Create Equal". Putting people down, or taking advantage of them, is unacceptable.

"Negativity, critical, and judgmental"

Firecracker responses

Rigid and unsympathetic

Victim profile

Narcissistic and controlling

Envious and Jealous



.If bullies actually believe that somebody loves them and believes in them, they will love themselves, they will become better people, and many will then become saviors to the bullied.. (source)

Consider this:

 Your past is just your previous thoughts, put in you by the world. It's not who you really are, deep down inside you.

Change requires you to focus your intention on what you want to be right NOW, not who you were. You can choose right now to loose those old traits through being aware and choosing Kindness and Love instead.

"Life is really very simple, just be Loving".

Thank YOU for reading this!

By David Morgan

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This page updated 01/22/23 09:43 AM