Life Changing Tools

Purpose of this page

The purpose of this page is to offer a summary of some of the best "tools" or methods you can use to help you make positive changes in your life. Equally important, this page will also help you with the tools to make those changes become permanent changes in your life! This list was compiled after watching many many YouTubes (there is a wealth of great learning available through YouTube), along with books, seminars, friends, etc.

The topics are not in order of priority, since each change you make in life may require a shift in this list. Let's take one on the list, Goals. If you never read a book on goals (I'm guessing like many people), then that might be a very good starting point. Included in that section is a "summary sheet" that can be used as a template you can use to guide you through achieving your goal.

Tools/Topics:

Science proves you can change, even if you don't think you can!
Feelings
Work
Coaches and Mentors
Coaches Hint: Friends can co-coach each other for free.
Mentors
Knowledge + Study
Curiosity
Repetition
Your Environment
Consistency
Inconsistency
Goals - A good place to start if you have never read any book on goals.
Affirmations
Visualization
Meditation & Prayer

Why list "Life Changing Tools"?

If you have ever desired to do something differently in your life, and find yourself saying something like "Wow, I really want this change in my life, I'm going to do this from now on"? You may start off heading in that direction, only to find in a few days, weeks, or months later that you are back to your previous thoughts, behaviors or actions?

If making permanent positive changes in life were super easy, then wouldn't many people be living life differently? The bottom line is that it takes work to make changes in most aspects in life including health, careers, relationships, purpose in life, or emotions.

There are many reasons that may help you understand why you might want to learn more tools, skills or methods for making changes, and which solution may work best for you:

You may not be aware of all of the tools, or the power of certain tools.
Is your life perfect already, or have you tried to change it but have only had limited success?
Are you living your dream life? Have you thought about what your dream life would be? Maybe you were never taught the value of goals. Are you headed in that direction?
Do you desire to be honest with yourself but not sure if it can be done?

If you look at nature, one thing you can clearly see is that it constantly changing. Yet some people may be afraid of change. Paraphrasing what John at the YMCA said: "We are creatures of habit in a constantly changing world, and if you think about it, in nature it is those who adapt to changes that end up surviving and flourishing."

Why can it "appear hard" to make those positive changes permanent?

Understanding why it appears hard to make positive changes can provide insight into what you may need to do in order for these changes to become permanent. Science has answered this question by understanding how the brain works. Without going into detail, the short answer is that thoughts and emotions, being either strong or repeated for a long time become "programmed" or stored into our brain. Some call where it is stored our "subconscious" brain, and the resulting actions become almost automatic, and without thought. Paths in the brain are built, somewhat like a super highway, and then we automatically act on what we have previously stored. Traumatic past experiences that caused a strong emotion at the time cause survival mechanisms in the brain to active and quickly creates this "highway". "Running from a tiger", can be one example. Changing an old undesired behavior that you repeat over and over is another example of actions that cause brain to be programmed or "wired".

The truth and good news is it can be easy to make positive changes right now!

The awesome powerful news is that science has also discovered another equally important fact about the brain, and that these "highways" can be changed, and this is because the brain has "Neuroplasticity"(google). See also What Is Neuroplasticity? (verywellmind.com).

Neuroplasticity is a mechanism in our brain that proves that most (if not all) people can make the changes in their life, even if they currently don't believe they can!

We are sometimes programmed by our environment (such as other people) that say we can not change, while the truth is the brain is constantly changing and has the ability to change.

Change, could be created by choosing to live in the NOW, and focusing all your attention on what you want, instead of on what you don't want.

So what are some of the top tools?

Feelings

Feelings really are a key tool for change. In fact, some say it's the key to programming and reprogramming your "subconscious" mind. Think about the first time you ever drove a car, or maybe you were on top of a high building. Your conscious mind had messages like "If I'm not careful, I'm going to die!" The feeling of fear was transferred into your subconscious mind and it helped you to learn very quickly what to do or not to do. In the case of driving a car, shortly after a few lessons, driving became more and more automatic, as your subconscious mind took over. Have you ever heard of someone lifting a car off a trapped child (psychologytoday.com)? Again, emotions (feelings) can have an amazing impact on us. Fear is typically considered one of the strongest negative emotions while happiness, gratitude, joy, hope, peace, serenity, are just some of the positive feelings. See also the List of Top 20 Positive Feelings and Emotions (positivewordsresearch.com) for more.

Work

If you listen to the most successful people in the world, unless they are lucky, (and some can be), they will say it takes work. Now everyone knows it takes work. Nonetheless, how much work does it take? Did you live around people that worked to become professionals, or who worked hard towards something that made them more money down the road? Did they try to learn something in their spare time, or just watch TV for entertainment after work? Working hard and smart can help you make more money, but equally important, may bring amazing satification..

Work is also one of the key ingredients for achieving most good things in life. They say it takes work to be happy, but it's worth it! Most of the tools below require effort to use them; an exception might be listening to affirmations while you're falling asleep. Regardless if you are trying to make more money, have better relationships, or trying to be happy, accept the fact that it will take work, and as you work, realize it is heading you in the direction of your goals.

Remember that if you are headed in the direction of positive changes, this work can be the best journey of your life.

Coaches and Mentors (paid or free!)

Coaches

Currently for me, coaches may be the most powerful tool on this page to make the desired change become a permanent change, and they don't have to cost you a penny!

Coaches are used by many professionals, such as super athletes and high level business people. Coaches can help you to keep you focused in the direction of your goals when your battery is drained, or when your old subconscious takes over. It could be that you don't want to do something, but it holds you back nonetheless. There are professional coaches, and many of the most successful people uses coaches.

Coaches, for example can help you stick to your goals.

How do you hire a free coach? While professional coaches can be such a powerful tool, as they have studied how to be the best coach, you can have free coaches!

Design your own program. Maybe you want to have a desire to exercise, but don't stick to it. Maybe what my friend Ben called an "accountability coach" will work for you. Let's create a very simple example with a goal to do five Sit-ups every day. Find a friend and tell the friend that you want them you want to check with them every day and verify that you did the workout. It may be just a quick text message. Tell them, if you wish, that you don't want them to be easy on you, unless you tell them you no longer want them to remind you. They don't have to be "hard" on you, just persistent. Another approach could be an award based approach, and that may work better for you. You decide the guidelines that will work for you and your friend.

If you feel like that's too much to ask of a friend, maybe find a friend that wants to create a new habit themselves, such as flossing every day. You can each coach each other and it won't take much time or effort for the coach.

Coaches may be necessary, simply because of how the brain works, in that the brain builds neuron "highways" and with only your input, you can "automatically" go back to your own patterns due to your subconscious program.

See also: How to be a good coach (google) for ways to help each other with good coaching methods.

Mentors

You don't know what you don't know, and you may not know how to do what you want are two primary reasons mentors are so important.

There are mentors that can help you find more happiness, love, peace or just about anything you desire in your life. Some are paid, but so much can be learned free through watching youtubes of mentors. If you want suggestions, contact us.

Mentors are people who have already done, and are good at, what you are trying to do. For example, if you want to have a successful business, find mentors that have one or more successful businesses. You can also go on youtube and watch successful people like Tony Robbins teach you what you may need to learn. Mentors, for example can help you define your goals as well as help you to achieve those goals. Some examples of mentors include those listed in Law of Attraction.

Knowledge + Study

If you desire change, education is a key tool that will help you clearly see how to do things. Education draws on other people's expertise and experiences. There is a saying "Never use people for money, money should be a reward for services rendered." Therefore, from that point, people provide a service to other people. Therefore, how do you make more money than someone else does? There are at least two ways. One is by volume, and one is by being a highly in demand expert in your job.

A simple example for volume is this: giving a speech to one paying person is not that much harder than giving a speech to 100 paying people. Selling a software program that you wrote to millions of people is another example of volume. Of course in both cases, you will need knowledge of how to produce something (such as a software program), along with the knowledge on how to sell yourself or your product.

In terms of being an expert, the less skilled labor generally makes less money. A brain surgeon typically makes more than someone who cooks at McDonalds. The point to remember is that the more skilled you become for a job in very high demand and short in supply of workers, generally the more money you make. If your goal is to make more money, then gain knowledge on how to do that.

Knowledge is also important for other aspects of life. If you want to have better loving relationships, gain knowledge on how to do that. Remember, most everything in life is learned, including how to have successful relationships.

If you refer to the table that compares Ignorance with Knowledge, besides what you have learned, the right side of the table shows what happens once you have studied and have knowledge. Knowledge can bring understanding, faith, well-being, expression and creativity; all of which most often leads to more happiness. Learning life-changing skills can provide new options and confidence that can change "I can't" to "I can", opening up the door to creativity.

Curiosity

The desire to know why and how can be one of the best gifts you can have, because it can drive you to want more knowledge in a particular subject. In addition, that can drive you to become an expert in a subject, or at least to learn better solutions for that subject.

For example, just assuming what someone says as truth limits you to his or her viewpoint, which may or may not be correct, and may or may not be complete. Curiosity will make you want to dig deeper on learning new details on topics to help create a more encompassing education, which will expand your thoughts, changing who you will become. In addition, curiosity often can be fun while it is promoting a desire to learn even more!

Curiosity is also a catalyst for creativity.

Repetition

There are some who say the best tool (and the only effective tool) for learning or for permanent change is using repetition. How many times have people said your name to you since you were young? We have all heard a song enough to have it stuck in our head. How did you learn to spell while learning a language, it was all through repetition. Therefore, when you're trying to make a change from an old habit to a new habit, repetition is your power tool. Repetition over time, sprinkled in with other factors such as emotion, new methods, and diversity of learning can help.

How long does it take for lasting changes? Well, my friend Ben said he learned that science can now measure brain activity and can actually see new dendrites form or reform in 45 days. See here (jstor.org) for a related topic on dendrite activity. It may take less (or more) time, depending on, the "quality" of your exercises using repetition.

I was recently told by physical therapist that many people do not keep their shoulders back. According to the therapist, if you look at someone from the side, their shoulders should typically be behind their ears. She said that over time, many jobs for many people cause people to lean forward, with shoulders resting in front of their ears. Keeping the shoulders relaxed, but behind the ears can help prevent several health issues. In order to make that change, I needed to incorporate repetition. I set up reminders every so often to check to make sure my shoulders were back. It has required a whole lot of repetition, frequently repeating reminders to keep my shoulders back, many times during the day for many days and into weeks. However, with time, a more permanent change occurred, and only occasional gentle reminders may be needed, repetition created success! Repetition, repetition, repetition.

If you want to change an emotion, or start something new, find ways to incorporate repetition into your plan for changing.

Your Environment

Everything about your environment can impact how easy it will be to change. For example, if you live with someone who drinks or smokes and you want to quit either one, science says it will be harder for you to change. One major reason is how the brain works, see Mirror Neurons. If possible, spend more time and/or energy with positive healthy people, and choose to watch and learn how to create the life what you want to live. Mentors can help as well.

Consistency

Consistency helps with change. Many dog trainers will say that one key to being a great dog owner is to train your dog with consistency. That of course goes with children as well. There's a saying that "Insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting different results." Consistency produces consistent results.

Inconsistency

New, different, and exciting can produce strong and lasting impacts. That special trip you went on could stay in your memory years later, but what you felt like 10 days ago when you woke up may not. That's based on the law of diminishing returns. An example is to use pictures to reprogramming (change) your subconscious mind. If you put a picture up on the wall, the first day is very affective, but within two weeks or so, you may not even notice it. It's still there and that's good, since your subconscious still sees it, but unless you draw emotion and intention into it, it becomes another picture on the wall. Try this experiment. When you are at home, close eyes and describe everything in your room. Do you remember everything? Now try moving a picture and see what happens. When you move a picture, your mind has to process its new location, and that gives the picture more attention.

Goals

Goals are like a compass for life. Not only does it provide direction, but a goal can also act like a magnet that can help pull you in the direction of the goal. The process of setting, planning and following goals is a very powerful tool. Unless you were lucky enough to have parents that either gave you a book on goals, or educated you about how to use goals, you may want to educate yourself on the topic. One book on goals that I liked was Goals, by Brian Tracy (amazon).

A summary with some additional comments from his book can be viewed here: 12 Steps to Set and Achieve Any Goal. You can save this .rtf file, and then edit it to add your comments in each section related to the goal you want to achieve. This can be your working document. Save another copy for another goal.

A goal with strong emotions (both positive as well as negative) can provide a strong motivation for achieving that goal. For example, life threatening illnesses can cause changes in diet and/or lifestyle if this will cure the illness. In a positive spin, a goal of finding more joy in your life will be a joyful process :)

A goal can point you in a direction of a desire. Suppose you want to have a goal of being honest with yourself. By having that goal, even if you don't fully accomplish the goal, the actions you will take in attempting to achieve that goal, like learning more about what you really want to do with your life, or using other tools such as affirmations or meditations, can help you have a better quality of life. For example, if you start to exercise more because you want to hike mountains, you will feel better because you exercise.

Affirmations

Most everything in life is learned, and this includes all negativity. How is negativity taught? It is taught through negative statements, most often repeated to you by people and/or media. It could also be called negative brain washing, or negative hypnosis. Therefore, to learn positive emotions and lessons, you can use positive affirmations, which really are just positive statements. The goal is to replace the untrue negative thoughts stored in our subconscious mind with positive thoughts, through affirmations using tools like repetition and feelings. There are many positive affirmation sites, as seen when you google positive affirmations (google). It's considered a good practice to say your affirmations first thing when you wake up and right before you go to sleep. The last 5 minutes before you fall asleep at night should be positive affirmations or thoughts about what you want in your life. For an example of affirmations and how they may help you feel after you use them, consider listening to the "I AM" (youtube) affirmations by Jake Ducey.

Visualization

Visualization is when you see what to accomplish as if it has already happened. It's been done for years by many people, including athletes. See The No. 1 Habit Billionaires Run Daily (youtube) for a good overview. A vision board (google) is one tool to help you visualize what you want.

Meditation & Prayer

Meditation and Prayer are two more common tools for change. Both can provide great gifts towards cultivating a supporting and loving state of mind.