Unbalanced (Dictator) Relationships
"All men are created equal"
Love is that which enables choice
There are many reasons why relationships can become "unbalanced", but for most non-work relationships ranging from friendships to
intimate loving relationships, a relationship that more closely resemble a
partnership, or oneness, is a relationship that is heading in the direction of Love/Kindness.
Love happens when two people
are able to commune with the understanding that we are all
This page and others on AllOne are here to help anyone come to better
awareness of why they may not be as they wish they were. Maybe they want to
"improve" themselves to benefit others as well as themselves. They are
also here to help you with acceptance of yourself and
others. Realizing that we are
helps to removes us, for example, from the need to judge.
forgiveness for yourself and all others
because these and all "negative" personality traits were learned
at childhood, but they were all learned. The people that taught you also learned
it from someone else. Poor behavior on others is not ok,
however one can choose to "unlearn" any trait that they
want in their life. Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to change and adapt due to
experience. It continues through adulthood.
"Practice Kindness". I feel "All men
are created equal" means people have a responsibility
to be nice
to one another. Some may say "respect boundaries", some may say
Science proves people can change, even if they don't think they can!
Negative choices can be replaced with healthy choices.
- Maybe one person's job is a boss at work who has to tell people what to
do, a leader position, or maybe that person grew up
a bossy parent, who did not offer options to you when you were young. I would
hear "because I told you so" from one of my parents when I
was a child. I know today that it's
not my parents fault. A boss that feels the need
to be a tough boss at work may have a hard time remembering equality or
compassion when they are home. We are all equal, no one is better
than the other.
- Maybe one person was
not comfortable about asking for what they want in the relationship, possibly
from growing up in a dysfunctional
family (wiki). See also 13
(mentalhealtamerica.net) and Codependency:
What are the signs & how to overcome it (positivepsychologyprogram.com).
- Someone may have learned to have a victim
- Someone may have grown up with someone who had narcissistic
personality disorder (wiki). See also narcissistic
characteristics (psychologytoday.com) and How
Do Children Become Narcissists?
- Be mindful that some people who were bullied as a child, may unfortunately
with, lets call them
"shields used to protect the
heart". Note, in the following link I personally do not like the
feeling of the picture,
but the content very good: Personality Traits of an Adult Bully (medium.com). These traits are usually
learned without even realizing it, so if you
it's not your fault, however
your actions may not harm others inherent rights to happiness. Poor
behavior on others is not ok.
- If you were bullied when you were a child, or you are being
bullied by other adults as an adult, consider: Adult
Post-Bulling Syndrome (google) and Adult
Survivors Syndrome Bulling (google)
Note: Often our parents learned it most likely from their parents, undesired
characteristics are often passed down for generations. This truth can help with acceptance
and forgiveness. "Love
is the only thing that is real" (true?) (acim).
Vocabulary.com's definition of a dictatorship
"a government or social situation where one person makes all the rules and decisions without input from anyone else."
So what I invite you to do is to consider this:
If you listen to your
heart, doesn't it make sense
parties communicate and create solutions together,
just like partnerships strive to do?
Thank YOU for reading this!
By David M
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This page updated 02/02/23 09:20 AM