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Unbalanced (Dictator) Relationships

"All men are created equal"

Love is that which enables choice

 

There are many reasons why relationships can become "unbalanced", but for most non-work relationships ranging from friendships to intimate loving relationships, a relationship that more closely resemble a partnership, or oneness, is a relationship that is heading in the direction of Love/Kindness.

Love happens when two people are able to commune with the understanding that we are all AllOne

This page and others on AllOne are here to help anyone come to better awareness of why they may not be as they wish they were. Maybe they want to "improve" themselves to benefit others as well as themselves. They are also here to help you with acceptance of yourself and others. Realizing that we are AllOne  helps to removes us, for example, from the need to judge.

Note: Consider forgiveness for yourself and all others because these and all "negative" personality traits were learned primarily at childhood, but they were all learned. The people that taught you also learned it from someone else. Poor behavior on others is not ok, however one can choose to "unlearn" any trait that they want in their life. Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to change and adapt due to experience. It continues through adulthood.

"Practice Kindness". I feel "All men are created equal" means people have a responsibility to be nice to one another. Some may say "respect boundaries", some may say "practice kindness".

Science proves people can change, even if they don't think they can!
Negative choices can be replaced with healthy choices.

  • Maybe one person's job is a boss at work who has to tell people what to do, a leader position, or maybe that person grew up with a bossy parent, who did not offer options to you when you were young. I would hear "because I told you so" from one of my parents when I was a child. I know today that  it's not my parents fault. A boss that feels the need to be a tough boss at work may have a hard time remembering  equality or compassion when they are home. We are all equal, no one is better than the other.
  • Maybe one person was not comfortable about asking for what they want in the relationship, possibly from growing up in a dysfunctional family (wiki). See also 13 Characteristics, Co-Dependency (mentalhealtamerica.net) and Codependency: What are the signs & how to overcome it (positivepsychologyprogram.com).
  • Someone may have learned to have a victim mentality.
  • Someone may have grown up with someone who had narcissistic personality disorder (wiki). See also narcissistic characteristics (psychologytoday.com) and How Do Children Become Narcissists?
  • Be mindful that some people who were bullied as a child, may unfortunately grow up with, lets call them "shields used to protect the heart". Note, in the following link I personally do not like the feeling of the picture, but the content very good: Personality Traits of an Adult Bully (medium.com). These traits are usually learned without even realizing it, so if you were bullied, it's not your fault, however your actions may not harm others inherent rights to happiness. Poor behavior on others is not ok.
  • If you were bullied when you were a child, or you are being bullied by other adults as an adult, consider: Adult Post-Bulling Syndrome (google) and Adult Survivors Syndrome Bulling (google)

Note: Often our parents learned it most likely from their parents, undesired characteristics are often passed down for generations. This truth can help with acceptance and forgiveness. "Love is the only thing that is real" (true?) (acim).

Vocabulary.com's definition of a dictatorship is:

"a government or social situation where one person makes all the rules and decisions without input from anyone else."

So what I invite you to do is to consider this:

If you listen to your heart, doesn't it make sense
that both parties communicate and create solutions together,
just like partnerships strive to do?

Thank YOU for reading this!

By David M

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This page updated 02/02/23 09:20 AM